I love to hate gifting
And I will explain why.
It was Diwali time and my Mom was making the list of people we have to buy Diwali gifts for. The list included relatives, neighbors, and business clients. With every name that she wrote in the list, she also tagged a price of the gift.
Is this treating people differently because of their monetary situation? Or is it treating people differently because of what they could afford for us when they gifted us? Or this is “Tit for Tat” ideology? Whatever it is, it has to vanish from society.
I was always confused about this and hated gifting like anything. I have always believed that gifting kills relationships. We refrain visiting our relatives because we will have to gift. somebody got married and our gift is yet due. If we meet, we have to gift. Relationship killed.
The other aspect of gifting that I have been hating is the price game. So the expensive the gift the more you love the person concept is a cruel concept to me. This price game means that people less expensive gift means the person does not care about you. This is one another reason why people do not meet friends or visit their family and relatives. They want to avoid such a situation.
Why Give Gifts?
To me gifting means showing your love, affection, and gratitude to people. You would like to gift something to your sister because you love her. Parents gift their children out of utter affection. You want to buy gifts for your parents out of gratitude and so on. Such gifts have emotional values behind them and the one who receives those gifts feels it.
What gift is a gift which is a burden on the one who is buying it and also on the one who is receiving it? Remember, gifts carry your emotions with them. So when you gift somebody you did not intend to, the receiver gets that unsaid message. It happens with you too, isn’t it?
I follow a straight forward policy of no gifting. When I invite people to a party or a celebration, I ensure to tell them that this house is a no-gifting house. This is to ensure that coming to home is never a burden on them.
But, society does not work that way. Gifting is still an integral part of our society and sure it is important at the time. But gifting should always have the emotional value behind it.
On the funnier side, I am so very bad when it comes to thinking of what to gift. And, I am not alone who keep scratching his head when it comes to finding the right gift. Birthdays are the most common and frequent occasions that we become part of and need to find a gift. And when it is finding the best birthday gift for a girl, I go crazy. Sometimes, it becomes an endless search and all in vain.
Hidden Values behind Gifting
I prefer to find a gift that is practical, is memorable, and has longevity. Also, that the gift is not going to get forwarded to somebody else. Even for Corporate Diwali gifts, I scratched my head for 2 days in finalizing the gifts. Finalizing Christmas gifts wasn’t easy either.
I am now 43, a rare sight to see a lavish birthday celebration. But when I look back I laugh at myself. Buying a gift for every pretty girl in the college was common. Gifting was one way to stand out from the crowd, but sometimes it has blown up on my face. Birthdays used to be super fun with friends and so many birthday gifts.
But today, I feel that gifting should only happen when you have an emotional reason. And gifting should never have a price to it. A gift as simple as a warm handshake and a memorable time spent with your friend is worth a thousand times than any expensive gift.